Confidence.
The holy grail.

“I want to write a book”.
“I want to fund-raise”.
“I want to give a speech”.
“I want to start a new business”.

“And to do those things I have to be more confident.
Other people just have more confidence than me.”

“I’m an imposter”.
“I want to be more confident”.
“Now”
“I can’t do it otherwise.”

“Please, wave your magic wand.”

No.

I’ll give you a formula instead.
And a secret.

Others are not more confident.
They just have more courage.

And courage is an icky feeling; a confusing one.
Scary, nerve-wracking, clammy-hand inducing.
A lying-awake-at-night-the-night-before kind of feeling.
Vertiginous even.

So most avoid it.

But courage is what you need in order to beget the eventual confidence.

So here is the recipe for doing the thing you want to do but say you don’t have the confidence for:

1.Commitment
2.Courage
3.Capability
4. Confidence

Wonderfully at the end you will have sweet confidence. You’ll have earnt it.

The 4 C’s Formula (courtesy of Dan Sullivan)

1.    Commitment. Start by clarifying why you want do the thing in the first place. Really hone your vision and give yourself a sense of purpose. Polish that commitment until it shines. This will spur you on to have…

2.    Courage. In order to do the thing you want to do you’re going to have grit your teeth and throw yourself into it. This is what all those successful people do. They are not actually any better: they just accept the hard feelings that come with being courageous and get going. So just do it. Take the first step. Write the first page. Call the first finance person. Give your first speech in front of an audience of two.
And as you throw yourself in there and do it, you will develop the muscle of…

3.    Capabliity. Do the thing. Do it again and again and again. Fail and learn. Fail and learn. Fail and learn. Fail and learn. I can’t repeat that enough. And then slowly….
Hello! Now you’re actually doing it.
Hello! Now you’re doing it well.
Now you’re doing it really well!
Wow. Wait a minute have you developed….

4.    Confidence. The holy grail. You took the plunge, you learnt on the job and now you actually genuinely feel you can do it. And there is that pleasant, satisfying feeling of confidence.

5.    Maybe you could commit to something else and start the whole process again?

So, interpret those stomach butterflies differently.
As exhilarating, life-affirming, thrilling.
A sign that you are birthing something new.
Growing.

Choose courage.

Wonderful weekend all,

Love x Sanja

The Man* in the Arena

Theodore Roosevelt

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

To read more about the 4 C’s formula